Finally

It has happened!
Sweet lawd, I was about to give up on everything.
But then....on the Swedish semledagen Kevin got his residency.
Just like that his phone went off at a job meeting we were attending ( yes, we have the same boss but do different things ) and boom....an email that changed everything.
Our poor co-workers almost got an heart attack as both Kevin and I started screaming and jumping around. Hahaha..

About 2 weeks after that, he got his "person number" it's like a social security number which he needs to be able to identify himself at banks and authorities.

Now we've registered for a Swedish Id card and hopefully it'll come within the next week or so. Then he can finally get a bank account so his salary goes into that.
He has been getting checks and it's a friggin hassle to get the cash out. Such an head ache. Hurry up id card......

Kev's working atm at a pub. In the kitchen. Making food. Never saw that coming in a million years. Good on him. He's being taught by another chef and if things go well he will be running the kitchen by himself this summer. ( please don't let him food poison anyone so we can keep paying our bills....and I can go do my hair a bit more often than every 5 months )

Next goal is to find a bigger place. We definitely need it.

Yeah ok Sweden....

Ok, I am a tad upset and baffled at the moment. I just came home from doing my occasional government round. ( you kinda have to do that now and again to see if there's been any change in laws or whatever because the imbeciles does not tell you shite )
My current boss and I have arranged for Kevin to come and do an apprenticeship  with yours truly. To get some more kitchen experience and practice his Swedish. And it's always great to get my lunch break freak on....I'm joking! Or am I?

I rock up to the Swedish unemployment office as we need to get their approval for insurance reasons  ( the dodo might cut himself or "accidently" get stabbed ) and like the nice, well mannered girl that I am, I waited my turn only to get cut off by two lovely women. Apparently they figured their inquiry was more important than mine. How to use a copy machine!
Yes, I can totally understand the urgency.  
I can't say anything about them cutting line as I will be called racist, that's the easiest word to call someone who points out bad behavior. No matter what country of origin. Fair is fair.

I politely told the reception lady about our situation. And at this time I felt quite positive and cheerful. I mean I've got Kevin an apprenticeship without them having to lift a finger. Only to get a slap in the face. It turns out that to get this apprenticeship you need your personal number. Kevin doesn't need to get paid, he just needs the insurance, I said. But apparently since he's not a refugee they cannot help us.
-He can get his numbers if he gets a full time job or he gets his residency or becomes a Swedish citizen.

Really?! Only that?! Well...ok then!
2-5 years. That's nooothing.
We'll just keep struggling on my salary then shall we....
Lawd forbid Kevin breaks a leg or gets an infection. He will be going to Alixandra's hospital in da ghetto. Home surgery and I'll cast his leg myself. No problem!

I told them that we have 2 children here and 2 children in Australia that we need to support. On my salary. It's getting a little bit ridiculous. Sweden demands that Kevin pay tax on the little salary he has gotten but he's not allowed to have the same health care benefits or social insurance as we do. However if he was a refugee he'd get everything us Swedes are entitled to.
How is that fair?
Why is Sweden treating people so differently? Why is Sweden letting a person that wants nothing more than to work and get his life on track with his family, to struggle this much?
While on the other hand we welcome IS terrorists back and offer them living arrangements, work and so on. It makes no sense to me. It really doesn't.

I also went to our tax agency as they are the ones deciding on the personal numbers.
I calmly spoke to a lady. Explaining to her our quest.
She bluntly answered me that Kevin needs his residency approval from the immigration. If we had lived in another EU country prior to us moving to Sweden he might have gotten the numbers easier. That we have lived together in Australia makes no difference. WHAT!!???

Ok, so let's potentinally break up a family due to living locations.
Yup that sounds real legit to me. Logical and very reasonable. ( no, it doesn't really....I'm being very sarcastic )

I told the lady that it's laws and rules like this that makes people do cash in hand work or become a criminal. How is that benefiting anyone?!

The system is not working for those people that wants to come here legit and do what's right. We've learned that much. I think it's time for a change. I'm ashamed of how my country is treating Kevin. I'm upset how my country is treating us.

What I never got told....

Almost 9 months into moving back to Gothenburg things have not gone exactly to plan. Not even close. Immigration still haven't looked at our case ( due to the excessive amount of refugees Sweden took in last year ) we applied in March -16. All the papers are in order. I don't understand why some gets to cut the line. Ours is an open/shut case. Boom. Done!

No one told us about the obstacles that we would have to face from time to time.
The fights that would come out of it. The tears and the hopelessness. The feeling of giving up. Breaking up.
It's not that I wasn't aware of the bumps. I just didn't think it'd be so many of them.
Getting Kevin work has not been as easy as we initially thought. And with that comes the lack of money. And with that comes more arguments.
Stupid stupid arguments.
Things gets said that are hurtful and can't be unsaid. Which creates a wedge between us. A most unwanted wedge.
But the frustration takes overhand sometimes and we turn on each other.
Some of us act more childish than others....
And there are things you can't unsay or undo. Maybe that should be something to think about?!
We should grow stronger and be the team I know we are. But it's easier said than done once that down spiral is created.
At the end of the day we have chosen each other and chosen a life here for a while because we love each other. We just have to remember that in the heat of the moment.
If you’re anything like us you’ll essentially spend 95% of your time with your significant other, it is really easy to get complacent about romance and dates when you’re eating every meal together and trying to budget simultaneously.
We shouldnt forget to go on dates every once in a while. Surprise your significant other with a picnic, dinner or cute day trip that he or she is unaware of. Even a movie night or a wine night would do wonders. Do things for your partner. Let them know you're in this together. Taking each other for granted is a relationship killer.
Stop justifying your inactivity and avoiding the challenge of change.....
And do what you say you're gonna do. Otherwise it's just empty words that don't mean shit.

Sometimes you have to make the right decision and sometimes you have to make the decision right.
Awareness without action is worthless.

I would rather die living than live dying.
Some people are afraid to live. They play it safe and become a prisoner of what they wanted. They have dreams and even believe in themselves, but give up too easily. Then their soul dies.
But there is a dream that belongs to you only and you can’t be afraid to pursue it.
I would rather die living my dream than survive living a life that isn’t me.
Life is full of possibility, healing, growth and re-birth. A negative past does not have to define who you are. What has been in your life up till now has nothing to do with what can be. You just need enough love for each other to weather the storm....

I'm rambling again.....I have so many thoughts in my head at the moment.

And for the record it would be much more difficult if we moved to Australia. As it costs $7000 to apply for the correct visa. And we don't have a place to stay there either. Or jobs. Or car. Or furniture. Or. Or. Or......

No one ever told me about the many obstacles. I'm telling in hope that people understand and I'm hoping to help other people in the same situation. It's not easy. Not at all....you need to figure out if it's worth it.