This blog is about my life with my kids and our life in Thailand, Australia and Sweden. An uncoventional family dealing with the cards life has dealt us.
Ups and downs, bliss and misery, trust and betrayal.
After a rough, shocking ( to say the very least ) and extremely sad week it's time to dust it off and leave it behind.
To do that I went out on a girls night last night. Dancing is the absolute best medicine ever ( right next to a hot bath )
Went to hard rock and La Sombrita (?)
Jennie brought a bottle of champagne to toast in a new start and leaving shit behind. Apperantly you can not drink in public places in Sweden. ( Sweden....you are so holier than thou ) Police in a huge bus stopped and took the bottle. It was nearly empty anyway. Suckers....
Had heaps of fun but god damn it was cold come 3am. We had some guys that offered to walk us to the bus. That was very nice and gentlemanly of them. They were very nice to talk to. Cute too.
Today I picked up the boys around lunch. Went shopping and then went home.
Made Thai inspired dinner and baked apple crumble and mud cake.
Various other snacks was offered too. Pigged out completely. Lol. Right now it doesn't matter.
So chilling, eating and watching iron man 2 on a Saturday night with my favorite boys in the world. Sweet!!
I have had a couple of long disturbing phone calls during the week and I'm shocked and very sad. Some men are not worth to be called men. They are little boys that should stay at their moms and get dinner cooked for them every day. I'm amazed how some men actually can justify certain things and fuck their partner off like they were nothing. SHAME ON YOU!!!
If my boys EVER do anything close to what's been going on this week I'd slap them silly. I'd be ashamed as a mom and I'd be mad at myself for obviously not teaching them how to treat a girl right. Now, that is never going to happen since I do teach my boys how to behave.
I feel like I have to speak up. Since I cant be heard like I want to I sure am gonna be heard here.
We’ve all been burned by psychopaths largely because we fell for their lies and their lines.
The better informed people are with their techniques of deception, the more they can recognize them and protect themselves against them. A psychopath gets you within his power largely through deception. Psychopaths lie very easily and in a smooth manner.
Psychopaths tend to remain cool under pressure. They can tell you the most implausible stories–such as when they get a call from a girl but tell you that it’s a random call from a jailbird–but do it so matter-of-factly that it makes you want to believe them. Sometimes they distract you from the content of their words with their charm. They look at you lovingly, stroke your hair or your arm and punctuate their speech with kisses, caresses and tender words, so that you’re mesmerized by them instead of focusing on what they’re actually saying.
A psychopath often slanders others, to discredit them and invalidate their truth claims.
When you ask a psychopath a straightforward question that requires a straightforward answer, he usually goes round and round in circles or talks about something else altogether. For instance, when you ask him where he was on the previous night, sometimes he lies. At other times, he tries to divert you by bringing up another subject, anything but his own self and actions, which is what you were inquiring about in the first place.
Very often, when confronted with alternative accounts of what happened, psychopaths play upon your emotions. “Who are you going to believe“.
But to a woman whose life and emotions are wrapped around the psychopath, the answer is likely to be that she prefers to believe him over a girl or anybody else for that matter.
Deception constitutes a very entertaining game for psychopaths. They use one victim to lie to another. From hello to goodbye, from you’re beautiful to you’re ugly, from you’re the woman of my life to you mean nothing to me, from beginning to end, the whole relationship with a psychopath is one big lie. And if you choose to stay you deserve that stupid motherfucker.....
Ladies, we are better than that!! Let' s not get new psychopaths. There are good guys out there. I have to believe that.
Yesterday I slept at my friend Anna's house. We had dinner and a nice chat about life and the future.
It looks like I have to move in with her since the flat I've got atm is too expensive for me to handle by myself. Things haven't work out the way I thought. It's going to be a hard to get by in the near future, But if I move into Anna's I will be close to the boys and hopefully I will find a flat in that neighborhood. That is where I want to live anyways. And right now I need all the help and support I can get. I'm lucky to have such wonderful friends, so I don't have to stay at my ex and stir up shit.
Today I have been spending most of the day with Anna. She went with me when I drove around the city to look for various places I need to be next week. I found them and now it's not a big deal. I dislike it when I don't know where I'm going and my appointment is morning time. I really could do without the stress. But now I can just cruise to where I'm going, listening to music and chill.
And I also managed to watch a scary movie with my girl Paradise...Johanna. She came over and pampered me for a bit. Making me fruit salad and looking at old Thai pictures. Laughing and remembering.
Then we watched The Conjuring. OMG!!
Scaaarrryyy!!!
I normally need to hold on to someone tight cuz I jump a lot. But I had to close my eyes and hold on to Johanna just a few times. I don't know how I'm going to sleep alone.
This is why I'm blogging now. To get my mind descared. Hahahahaha....
I hope it works otherwise I'll have to talk to someone.
Let's hope someone in Australia is wake now... Time difference can work out sometimes .
I miss this. Wine in the pool!!
Johanna and I at GG's, here last night in Phuket. Very emotional!
Had a long over due conversation yesterday with a person that means a lot to me. It was nice, like I finally can breathe. Should've had that talk months ago. Got my feelings and thoughts off my chest. Sometimes you make a choice based on a lie and you do what you think is best at the time. It never turns out well.
I have a plan. I'm ima stick to it. It feels good.
Everyone close to me knows I believe in karma. Do and act good and you'll get it in return. Don't treat people badly.
But sometimes, just on a few occasions, I wish that some people get what they deserve. Which they will eventually....
So...I'e got myself a laptop. PINK!!! My first Samsung computer ever.
And yesterday I got myself a car. So now I can go see my boys and pick them up more freely. And I can accept a job that's further away than I'd normally take. A car gives you freedom.
So a huge thank you to Joacim for helping me out. Much much appreciated.
Ok...I have pressed a button now that makes the letters crazy. So I better stop writing for a bit cuz I know that I will probably smash the laptop if I cant figure out what's wrong.
Got some horrible news yesterday. I'm still in a bit of a shock. And my heart goes out to the family. Especially one in particular. Life is unfair and too fragile to keep wasting it.
I learned that many years ago when my dad died of cancer. It all happened so fast that I didn't have the time to wrap my head around it. And I had a baby that needed attention. So I never got to grieve or really understand the situation.
It's my dads anniversary this month. Just a couple of days ago actually. I need to go to the memorial park and just sit.
It's very serene to do that. I also spread Dizney's ashes there.
It's never easy to lose a parent. Especially if they're still young. Which in these cases they were.
It goes to show that you never know what is going to happen one day to the other. What's written in the stars for you.
Don't wait to do anything. Take chances and try things you're scared off.
It might be the best thing you've done. Change isn't always a bad thing.....
In your quiet moments, what do you think about? How far you’ve come, or how far you have to go? Your strengths, or your weaknesses? The best that might happen, or the worst that might come to be? In your quiet moments, pay attention to your thoughts. Because maybe, just maybe, the only thing that needs to shift in order for you to experience more happiness, more love, and more vitality, is your way of thinking.
This is what Im thinking and learned
If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.
Making one person smile can change the world – maybe not the whole world, but their world.
Saying someone is ugly doesn’t make you any prettier.
The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.
Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.
The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.
It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.
Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…
If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.
Falling in love is not a choice. To stay in love is.
True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.
While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.
Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
I hope this made some of you think.
Take care of each other and the ones you love and want to have in your life.
You never know when or how you are going to lose them.
To my friends and loved ones...
I'm blessed to have you in my life. Even though we don't see each other every day it doesn't mean you mean less to me. Lots of love to each and every one
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