Feels good....

Don't test me, I'll do it.
I have all of the evidence, I'll prove it.

For better or for worse,
It never meant a thing

How am I to blame
For all your mistakes?
You gave up the second you looked away.
I really hope you got what you wanted,
Now wash your hands clean of me.

I forgive you,
I just want you to leave.
For better or for worse,
It never meant a thing.
I forgive you.......



Now I feel so much better!! Sometimes you just need to print it down to get rid of negative emotions. It´s not worth my energy. So I fucking long to say ting leo.

Because right now I wanna feel free and carefree. Light as a feather. And focus on the good things in my life. I have a lot to be greatful for. Awesome people, old and new friends. Some are here with me others aren´t. And I miss you very much. But I will see most of you soon anyway :) Even if it´s for a short time...


Haven´t had the best morning today. A lot of things is going through my mind and trying to makes sense of everything. Paradise isn´t always paradise.

So my solution for a horrible morning was taking the boys to the beach. Great weather today. Took Angelo too. Music and walking on the beach is really therapeutical. Isn´t it funny how you can gain strength and positive energy from listening to the lyrics.

Some lyrics just goes straight to my heart. Speaks for me or to me. Depending. And is making me think of different persons. Some are sad and some are happy songs. Some love some with hate.

Anyway....Angela, David and Hayley came by and we sat and talked for a while. They are going out tonight and wanted me to come but Ima stay at home and snuggle with my kids.
But I hope that they have fun and dance for me on the table. :) Went home at dinner time. And it was still hot outside. And sunny.

Looking at tattoos and thinking of either arm or back/side. A lotus flower to cover-up my Aum or a saying with swirls on my back to connect with my other tattoo. Can´t do both right now. I wish I could but no....

Hope you have a fantastic Saturday night.

Lots of love and pussar coming your way.....

Pics

Marcus and I. Coolest guy in Phuket <3

This is the way u get when ur talking to OZ boys ;) Crazy!!

My wonderful friends Lindsay,Hayley and Jody

Thank you again to my fab friends. I´m very lucky to have you in my life......

Birthday

The kids woke me up early with singing and newly made "kokosbollar" chocolate truffels ( right Nick..Angela?) I got a make-up pen holder that plays music and a sweet home made card. I got really moved of what they wrote, in English funny enough, and we had a soft morning. It wasn't sunny but I didn't care. I've got the most wonderful kids in the world. They bring sunshine into my life <3.
On My actuall birthday ms.Jody took me to lunch at May-Dens. Never been there so it was nice to try out a new place. Me and the kids had pizza. Quite good. Service was a bit slow (as normal in Thailand ) but I had great company so time passed quickly.
Went home and talked on the phone for a while and got tons of birthday wishes. ( thank you so much )

Had made dinner plans at my favorite restaurant with my dearest friends. Thank you for spending yet another night with me :) You rock!! <3

Adam, knowing me, took me to Patong later that night. Went to see Kenta and Tobbe was there so we had à few drinks. Got some flower necklaces and it was a party I wont forget. The men took me to a stripbar. All good! Had a good time. Of course :) Stoped by whiteroom and had a mojito ( best in patong ) and say hi to the guys. Didn't get roofied... ;)

Thank you boys for making my birthday special. And a big hug to Adam for taking me to do what I love.
Appreciate it very much!!

Pic when I sort My laptop out.

I am a Fighter

And don´t you ever fucking forget it.......


Enjoy the awesome miss Xstina´s lyrics and her to die for outfits :)

God damn iPhone

Note to self: stop writing posts on your useless iPhone. Just when you wrote everything that's in your heart it only gets deleted anyway. Mother&#^^*.

My birthday party

The day started pretty good with a nice phone call. And it was sunny and I was in a fantastic mood. Spent some time on Spotify to get the music right for the party. Went to Sussy´s house to get the wig and ended up staying for a while. I´m gonna miss that so much, just to pop in and chill at someones house. Here that´s what you do. *sigh* But hopefully I´ll be back before long. J

Went to the market with Adam. He actually got a pink tankie to match my outfit. Super cute!!

Bought some make up and a Superwoman tankie too....pink of course.

Went back to my house to get ready. Put the music on and hit the shower. Always shower with music in the background.

Adam went and got me 2 breezers ( just had time to drink one ) and I started the process of putting on the make up.

Pink, plum and fake lashes. And the pink wig. Had issuses with the dress choice. But I had made a promise to someone to wear that dress so I´d better honor it.

Steve Madden shoes put the iceing on the cake.
God damn I love those shoes!! <3

Got to Papa´s little before 19.00. They were putting up balloons and preparing the food.

Sat down and had a glas of wine and felt happy. Had a game of pool with Adam ( he kicked my ass so bad ) and then he played with the kids.

*I don´t understand why Adam (and Marcus) don´t give a fuck and go to SC and play in the pool comp. They are seriously the best players I have seen in Kamala. Without a doubt*

Sipping on my wine and the guessts started to arrive. Everybody almost came at the same time. Isn´t that funny how that works?!

Mingeled around and got some birthday presents ( thank you so much for the gifts...you know who you are).

Had dinner ( a lovely Thai buffé, Thanx Rade and Maria) and some more wine. It was really difficult to eat and try to talk to everyone at the same time. It was a huge turn out.
I feel really blessed to have so many beautiful friends.

Alex ( Rade and Marias son ) had prepared a dance for me. “Ding ding dong-song” by Günther. He was the cutest ever. Made me almost cry. I was extremly sentimental at the party.

After Alex´ awesome dance me, Macey and Andrea did the “sexy and I know it dance” Mace is my dance assistant and she is the best!!

Played "put the pen in the bottle". 3 teams and at this point people are starting to get drunk. So fun to see them try. Hahahaha....

Drank some more wine and got a shot of whateva.

It seemed everyone had a great time. At about 02-03.00 we decided to go to Sang´s to after party. Danced and Adam played his guitar for us.  A man of many talents.

Then we went to Sussy´s for a after after party. Sat outside and talked until 06.00. Went back to my house and sat up the rest of the morning talking to Adam. My kids woke up and looked at us like we were crazy. No, my babies...not crazy...just drunk! J Or started to get the hangover actually. Send Adam home so I could go to bed.

( Thank you David for taking my kids home)

But I didn´t. I was on the phone until 10.30. So my Saturday morning started really well. (And you are welcome by the way, hope it fullfilled its purpose)

I want to say from the bottom of my heart thank you to everyone that came and celebrated me.

Means the world to me...it really does.

And a speciall thank you to Rade and Maria that allowed me use their fantastic restaurant PAPA`S for my party. You guys are truly amazing!!