Abyss

 

 

So I Went out last night. Had a great time. My friend came to mine for the first time. I haven't know him for long. A month, two months maybe. He is a very funny guy. He ended up shouting the whole night so I'll have to do something nice for him. Invite him over for dinner...that's nice right??

Mr.dancealot...I know you read my blog so sounds good yeah? Cheers for a fun night....morning.

I needed that.

 

 

 

 

Been in bed most of the day recovering. I managed to get my bum outta bed to go and get a pizza. That was the win of the day.

Also have been thinking a lot. Yes, I can do that even if hungover. It's actually the best time to search your soul. I feel lonely today. Real lonely. And I do not like it one bit.

Been listening to a lot of music while in bed. And some songs just goes straight to my heart and I get very emotional. Touches me and I relate. I love that about music and lyrics. It can say what I want to say but can get the Words right. Or the feeling. So thank you for the Music!! And sometime the videos are a perfect escape. A dream. A wish that it happened to you. Or didn't happen.

 One of my all time favorite movie scenes is from Titanic. When Rose and Jack is in the water. Jack gives up a space on a door to let Rose have it. Putting himself in the freezing water that ends up killing him. The scen when Rose discovers he is dead and he sinks. That kills me everytime.

Im rambling again, aren't I?

It' been one of those days I guess. Where I analyze things and trying to figure out what the next step will be. I need to move forward. Lingered too long.

 

These songs are a great example.

 

 

 

 

 

Sharing some thoughs with you.

Adversity creates unexpected alliances, but treaties of nature seldom form with an equality of power. Loyalties forged in apprehension and mistrust are tenuous at best. Easily broken when held up to the unforgiving light of the truth. But in the darkness of our most desperate hours, it’s often these loyalties that lend us the strength to do what we know must be done. A conflicted heart feeds on doubt and confusion. It will make you question your path, your tactics, your motives. When you stare ahead and darkness is all you see, only reason and determination can pull you back from the abyss

In da club....

It's Friday and that means momma aint got no one but herself to think about!!
So clubbing it is. Don't worry...the boys are at their dads.  This week I'm doing me.
But let me just say...OMG...my flat is messy as. So clean up time, eating time, bathtub time and the wine time. Whoop whoop!!

Then its out clubbing. Looking forward to it.

And this song is playing in my house atm. LOUD!!









Happy happy...... I'm in a really good mood right now. And I haven\t even had a glass of wine yet.
Things can only get better. Pondering on what to wear. Ima go rock n roll style tonight. Pic might be posted later.

Wishing y'all a fantastic weekend.

Miss the sun when it starts to snow

Truth is a battle of perceptions. People only see what they’re prepared to confront. It’s not what you look at that matters, but what you see. And when different perceptions battle against one another, the truth has a way of getting lost. And the monsters find a way of getting out.

This song is for the shady peeps. The guys that been creeping. For all you fuck-up's that haven't begun to make amends....you shoulda thought of that before. Now breathe!!





                            

After rain comes sunshine

There are many things that bind friends together - Sharing a laugh over an embarrassing incident, comforting each other in times of need, finding it in our hearts to forgive. But, the thing that binds friends together the most is a secret that changes everything. 

I have had a shitty day today. And yesterday wasn't great either. I'm lucky to have friends I can turn to in times of need, to get advice or just talk about the many thoughts I have that I cannot vent here. 
 

Some friends are new and some I've known for years. It doesn't matter how long they known me. I get the same answers and advice from them. I'm not so sure I like what they say all the time. Since they don't walk a cm in my shoes, my amazing fab shoes that gave me blisters last weekend. But..I get where they are coming from. They are saying things like

Carpe diem, how annoying is carpe diem?
How are you supposed to plan a life, a career, a family, if you’re always carpe-ing the diem? If we all ceased every moment of every day, there wouldn’t be any structure or looking forward to. We’d all be too busy living in the now. Whatever that means...
Came home from a meeting today and the boys had made me apple - crumble. The kitchen looked a right mess but I just melted. I love those gestures and things you do to make another person happy. I feel that I have done something right with the boys. Momma aint raising no selfish, uncaring, idiots. I'm very proud of my boys.

While trying to write I'm also bugged by a friend messaging me. So I lose my focus on what I'm writing and it makes me just ramble. Which I can be pretty good at might I add.
He wants me to come out Friday. I've already warned him about my state of mind, but he seems pretty determined to snap me out of it. I might just let him. Dancing is my medicine for just about anything. And I get to dress up again. Any occasion to have heels and glitter.

Good times. Drunk times. Hiding times.

   

 

 

 

No offens

Let's face it...Swedes have a great sense of humor.

Yeah Finland......you're rippin'!!!!

 

 

 

 

I had this memory game when I was a kid. A bunch of cards, face down, in rows. Each card has a picture. You turn one over, look at it, then turn it back over. Then you have to try and remember where its matching card was. Sometimes you have no idea. And other times it shows us exactly what we need to see. The cards seem completely out of order and random. But you keep turning them over... and the more cards you see, you get a sense how everything fits together.

 

 

 

 

So call me maybe..

Had a rather interesting conversation earlier today. About choices and how to move forward towards the future you want. What needs to be done and who you need to tell.
To really be efficient, you have to eliminate what doesn’t work for the pair of you. Communicate and be honest. You have to figure out what is important and hold on tight to the things that matter most. - before it is too late.

Spent the evening helping the boys bake pumpkin pie. Yes, yes, I knooow. A little too late but if it can put a smile on my boys' face I'll do it ( and get them of my back about using my laptop to watch shit on youtube ) The pie turned out great. I'm really proud of them.
Luqas and I sat and looked at thai pictures.
Luqas is very sentimental. He likes to keep things as they were. And he remembers things and people he care about. So it was a nice walk memory lane.

 

My thai sister Naa and I

 

Ms.Ying and I

 

 

When something begins you generally have no idea how it is going to end. The house you were going to sell becomes your home. The roommates you were forced to take in become your family and the guy you only were going to see a movie with that you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.

 

 

And the 2 best boys in the world. Terror and ists.

  Always question where your loyalties lie. The people you trust will expect it, your enemies will desire it and those you treasure the most will, without fail, abuse it.
William Blake writes, “If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.” But in reality, our perception is often clouded.
By expectations. By experiences. As of late, I find my perception is blinded by only one thing, skepticism.

Good times

Ok so yesterday was off the hook.
I am not gonna go into details for obvious reasons. But I can assure you that it was crazy.

However I am going to show you some photos of us. And just the PG ones. Hahahaha.
And the funny ugly ones. I don't take myself too seriously so I don't mind showing you these.

Thank you to My lovlies for making this night so amazing. No pain no gain..... ;)