Movie night

After a rather hard start of the weekend, I had a great last night with my friend and her kids.  Had a post-birthday party for Luqas. His dad and his friend went out for dinner instead. But we had a lovely time just me, Anna and the kids. He got a super cool hoodie and hat. Thank you!!

And tonight Luqas and I are watching a movie at my brother´s. So hopefully it will be relaxing and I can get the unpleasant start behind me. Just waiting for news so I can move on. Razmus is with his dad at someone´s house. Spending the night.

Talked to my dear friend from Oz today too. The invite still stands and I´m seriously thinking about it, since things are turning to shit. It would be sooo nice to go for a visit.

Anyway....not writing much today. Wanna spend my time with my son.

Mind over heart??

Got the most disappointing message last night. I kinda new it already but I wanted to give the benifit of the doubt. My stomach dropped when I read it and I felt so bad. So so sad....

So now Im struggling with a very hard decision. Should I follow My heart or should I follow My mind?!

My mind tells me that if I follow My heart it Will only lead to the path of destruction and sorrow. It askes me if I want to re-live the past and if it's worth it.

My heart tells My mind not to abandon and have faith. It tells me to remember the song "what are words". It tells me Im not that kinda person that turns My back when the going gets tough.

In the end I don't know who will win. But this is not a fun decision to make.

As if I don't have enough shit on my plate already. Damn!!!

Great news

Got some great news yesterday. A friend of mine that I got to know in Kamala is coming down for a visit next week. That is going to be so much fun.
She is only bringing her oldest son which is Luqas' friend. Luqas is going to get exceedingly happy when I tell him.
So Liseberg ( best them park in europe) and a night out next weekend then :) :)

But now I can't make that trip I was writing about yesterday. To see ms.Posh. Well, I might go later. But the longer I wait, the colder it gets.
Decisions decisions.....

Anyway, great news and Im looking forward to it. Girl talk and lots of laughing. ( and wine and food )

Cold as

Today it's been really wet and cold here. Just looking out the window makes you depressed and wanting to go back to bed.
I think I'll do that tomorrow. Get the kids outta bed and make breakfast and then to school ( yes, I do it even though Joacim is home ) and then Ima crawl back into bed and not budge until I have to go get Razmus. At least that sounds good to me right now. Probably not gonna end up that way, but I can try. My knee will love me if I do! And I love My knee, so some rest..

Said goodbye to the past today. Which was extremly hard. So hard!
But I have to move forward and not get stuck in a place I don't wanna be.

I also discovered something I really didn't wanna. Privacy is a huge thing for me. Trust! If you come to my house I could have 30000 laying on a table in 100 bills. I trust you not to steal from me. If you do, you're screwed. Or you have a diary or notes. You do not read other peoples shit. If it's not on a blog or someplace else that indicates
Sharing of written stuff.
But you know payback's a bitch!! :)

To end this rather complain post I skyped with My dear friend Ms.posher-than-thou yesterday. Was so great to see her ( and her side kick or is it the other way around?!? ;) )
Miss her so much. Hoppfully I get to see her in a few weeks. My knee must be a lot better if Im gonna be able to travel. ( and party )

And today I had a lovely conversation as well. Feel good after we talked. It's been a bit rough lately but I hope that it Will get better from now on..... :) :)

Ohhhhh......

Here I go again with songs and lyrics.
Heard this the other day......yes I do know that this is old, but it went straight to my heart non the less.

You know, I so wish that every guy could get their poetic side out more often.

That would save many relationships. MANY!!
It´s not a secret that you have to contribute something to the relationship every day. It doesn´t get great by itself. And if your not willing to go that extra mile maybe you shouldn´t be in a relationship?!
Girls are suckers ( even if they don´t admit it) for men that tells and especially shows them how much they mean to them.
And I´m not talking about in a cheesy, smothering way either.
Just an honest - from the heart - let your feelings out - kinda tell her thing!

´Cuz if you don´t tell her...or him...you might lose the best thing you could´ve had.

This goes for all relationships. Gay, straight or bi. Friends and lovers......

Hair color - over it!!

So today I took a long look in the mirror. Tried to figure out if there was anything positiv with this hair color.
The answer was HELL NO!!!

I don't know why I got so desperate on going blond. I was blond. A nice high lighted/sunkissed blond.
But why not go further. Go pamala Anderson blond. Great idea.

So today I corrected my error. Thank god for Schwartzkopf no 7!!!

Im pretty happy with the result. It's going to get lighter soon enough.

Spent some time at My brother's today with the kids. Sweet sweet Angelo called and talked to Luqas for a while. I know Luqas misses him a lot.
But you never know what the future brings.

Talked to My girl Sussy today. Or texted actually. Were supposed to Skype but shit got in the way. I miss her so much! But hopefully I get to see her soon.... :)

Went to Anna's for dinner and wine.
My home made tomato soup and hard bread. And of course wine. My god, that wine was beautiful. Organic, that goes without saying :)
Wonder if that comes in a BiB??!

Stayed for a while and just chatted away. Always nice. Got the older kids from the "boy scouts" and I was supposed to go to Cristoffer's after. But he had fucked off. So I went home. Talking on the phone. That conversation was a waste. Did not get anything out of that what so ever.

Made a big decision today. Or I made good on an old decision. So yey!!!!

Please don't make me regret it....

All and all as Im laying in bed I feel pretty good-ish about things. Some choices weren't mine to make. I would not have done it that way and some choices were mine to make and I own them. Right or wrong... I only know what's in My heart!

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

First night out!!

For some reason I Ended up down town. With my brother and 2 girls I've never met.. He had a blind date. With an 8 year older woman. Which I found totally awesome and unpredjudiced. And both of the girls kicked ass. I talked to people at the bar while getting my wine and some that were smoking outside( yes, you have to smoke outside the pub in Sweden.)
And all of a sudden we were a bunch of people having drinks and chatting away at out table. Nice :) :)

Tried to dance ( didn't work that well) and this Polish Guy was on My ass for ages. Finally he got the message and cleared off. My brother had a LOT of fun with that guy. Knowing me and just watching as the polish guy tried to pick me up, Stoffe had a few laughs. I can give him that!!
Fatima and Alexandra had a blast :)
I got drunk. Which wasn't the plan but I just went with it.

Stoped at McDonalds on the way home. Had some fries ( right there you can tell Im drunk ) and of course My brother had to be funny and piss some people off. Great!
Im handicaped and can't really do shit. But hey... Let's start an argument and get Alix in trouble!! That sounds like fun....

Took the bus home. There was this brittish Guy and girlfriend on the bus that I started talking to. His preception of Sweden was hilarious.

I had a good night out. My first since I've been back in Sweden.
Maybe Dubliners isn't My first choice of pub but it was definitely a good choice.