Fantastic!!!

I can't begin to describe the feeling I have atm. I've been so down and unhappy the past months for various reasons. It's been really rough, in some ways still are. But at this very moment i feel happy. Haven't felt this positive in a long time. 

I have great friends that have helped me through my hard times. And I am so happy to have you in my life. I'm blessed to have you. I really am. 

I wish you were here to share this moment with me....

Look alike

I've been talking to a friend of mine just a now. I met him in Phuket and he ended up being my boss for a while. One of my closest friends had a crush on him* totally valid* for the longest time.
Always before we went to work she would ask me if he would be there. And as always I answered her probably, I don't know.
And whenever she went passed my bar she looked for him and if he was there he usually sat and talked to me she would stop in for a shot or a smoke.
TRANSPARENT hon!!

I've always thought he reminded me of someone.
*he is really cute...not hard on the eyes at all...smells real nice too*
And now I know who. It´s been bugging me. Thank god I found the video.
See the video below.
And YES I know most of you wont understand the lyrics but it really doesn't matter.

He drove me home after work, a very early morning that ended at another friends restaurant in Patong. That was very sweet. A nice morning ride home. He also took me one very hung-over morning to go around Patong looking for whatever it was I was looking for. Hahaha...

Anyways....after talking to him just now I had to find who I though he looked like. Plus I'm bored and talkative. Can't sleep. I need to, I have work tomoz. Fuck all to do since we're two so it's going to be a long day. It's the pain in ass of getting up in the early morning that kills me.

 

Now tell me they don't look alike...........

Not giving up..

I got to work in a school kitchen today. With two funny and very nice ladies. And one of the ladies lifted my spirits by saying that she is confident that I will get heaps of work from now on. Which will get me a few steps closer on buying my own flat. I really can't wait. Just to get my own stuff back would be so amazing.

It was raining this morning. It should be illegal to start work before 9 am if you don't get like 500sek/hour * that would be 50-ish euro Trevor *

I'm very thankful to have gotten this job tho. I don't mean to moan about it.

After work I rushed to the boys' school to help out with their after school mother tongue class.
I enjoy doing that. I get to spend time with the boys and help them out and also make sure that they stay focused. And Ms Kristina seems to like me being there too. So I will as long as I am able to.

I would rather die living than live dying. 

 Some people are afraid to live. They play it safe and become a prisoner of what they never wanted. They have dreams and even believe in themselves, but give up too easily. Then their soul dies.

 But there is a dream that belongs to you only and you can’t be afraid to pursue it.

 I would rather die living my dream than survive living a life that isn’t me.

 

 

Life is full of possibility, healing, growth and re-birth. A negative past does not have to define who you are. What has been in your life up till now has nothing to do with what can be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leap of faith....

Today I have just chilled out. I had so many things on my mind since yesterday. I slept really bad. Had morbid dreams and just tossed and turned most of the night.

So today I chilled on my couch with my quilt, pillows and amazing hot air fan blowing on me. Had my laptop and just listened to music. I'm really passionate about music. I instantly know if I like the song or not. If it touches me with the lyrics, if I can relate to it, reminds me of anyone or if it has a meaning...a message. I know that people don't always get what the lyrics is about. Shame. Then again some songs are just dumb. Like "what does the fox say". That song is for jumping around when you're on the piss or for your children. Love that about it but deep and meaningfull...NO!!

And I heard a few songs that just went straight to my heart. You know when you feel that connection and you think of an event or a person. I had a couple of those today.

And let me tell you that I was surprised about the artists. REAL surprised.
So I learned today to not knock an artist.
However childish or how big of an hate object he/she might be.
How can you hate someone you don't know btw??
I'm impressed actually by their talent. I could never do what they do probably.
So Don't be a hater.....



This song came on when I was thinking of a conversation I had yesterday, of why you are so afraid to take chances. Sometimes you need to show it and not expect others to know what's going on in your head. And everyone loves the farytale with Prince charming and the Movie ending. Keep it alive.


The encouraging thing is that every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before. If you can live through that you can live through anything. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, `I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it. If you fail anywhere along the line, it will take away your confidence. You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate.

Just take that leap of faith.
It could end up being the best thing you've done in your life.
If you resist change, you will be where you are forever......

Enjoy this song.

 

 

 

 

I have been told lately that I've been wrong in what I believed was fact. Based on actions. I'm glad I was corrected. That makes me feel heaps better. But then the actions need to change to go with the words. If not... they will remain just words.

 

This song is a song I feel is appropriate.

Am I wrong for trying to reach the things that I cant see...

( What does that mean to you?)