Mid week rant

The other day we took a drive up the northen coast of WA. It's a bush country that's for sure. Miles and miles of straight road. Each side with dried up grass fields, sometimes with green spots and scattered trees/bushes with the Orange flowers on. ( pretty trees in a baron land )

I don't even remember the names of the towns we stopped in. But I can tell you that some of them where far better than the shithole I call home at the moment. 

More soul and life than Kinross. Pathetic really, since this is supposed to be Perth. 

We drove for the longest time. I love going on road trips. Just the fact that you don't know where you'll end up is awesome. Exploring new territory. 

The mission of the trip was to scout for sharks. WA is famous for their great whites. Especially up north. So the thrill of "hunting for sharks" was immense with the boys. 

Did we get to the water?! Barely.... 

We got close once. Overlooking boats that were crayfishing and a ton of seaweed. No sharks unfortunately. 

I've been feeling like shit lately. I can't explain why as it's a difficult situation that effects people differently. Don't get me wrong I'm over the moon that my boys are here. I've missed them greatly. 

I have a lot of time on my hands and it makes me think about stuff that might not be healthy for me. Or maybe it's just thoughts that I have buried deep inside of me, and this shithole let's them resurface. 

We are often let down by the most trusted people and loved by the most unexpected ones. Some make us cry for things that we haven’t done or we don't deserve, while others ignore our faults and just want to see our smile. Some leave us when we need them the most, while some stay with us even when ask them to leave. The world is a mix of people. We just need to know which hand to shake and which hand to hold! And that my friends is not easy. 

Betrayal and pain aren't things I want to have experienced. But I have. 

Maybe I like the pain. Maybe I'm wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe I just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself? Because it feels so good when I stop.........

There are things that happened in the past and no matter how hard you shake your head you can’t undo them and the memory remains. Horrible memories sometimes. There are regrets; things you knew you could do but didn’t, and things you wish you didn’t do but did. Maybe because you were left with no other choice. Regret is a stubborn stain, annoying like nails on a chalkboard, infiltrating your memory like a dripping tap. And no one but you feel it or cares about it. 

Sorry about the venting....I'll post pictures asap. The cost line was beautiful and we did have a fun day. I just wish the came more frequently. 

See ya....