T'is the season to be jolly...

Christmas came and went just as fast as usual. Didn't really feel like Christmas this year for some reason. It's not that I wasn't in Sweden. Like I've said earlier my first Christmas in years, in Sweden was last year. ( omg last Christmas Eve was hectic, spent it with a good friend. And on the phone all night for hours with my  english boyfriend at the time )

Anyways, we did the almond in the porridge thing before we headed out to Adventure world, a bit outside of Perth CBD. It was a fantastic day. Sunny and warm. Borderline hot. Not a cloud in the sky. Heaps of people with esskies. Wish I knew you were allowed to bring stuff like that with you.

The theme park wasn't up to Liseberg standards ( gothenburg theme park ) but it was ok. It is a water park too. It's more of a "skara sommarland" kinda park. The boys loved it and that's all that matters. We all got a tad sunburnt that day.

Christmas Day we were invited to Ty ️and Gabi's for drinks and dinner. Proper Aussie christmas.

They had Ty's family there too. Or some of them. They were very nice people. 

The boys and I felt welcomed. I brought "glögg" ( swedish christmas wine that you drink lukewarm with almonds and raisins ), some swedish candy and I made meatballs. A bit of Sweden needs to be represented I reckon. They seemed to enjoy it. Maybe not the glögg but then again neither do I. 

It was a good Christmas Day celebration. I'm happy to have spent it with them. 

Boxing Day we went with yesterday's family to rockingham to go kayaking. 

It was so beautiful and more importantly it was so much fun. I kayaked with Razmus...lawd help me. He was brave and he made an effort to paddle. But let's be honest, I did all the work. Which made us stray from the group more times than I feel comfortable sharing. My spaghetti arms aren't that strong that I could keep up with the other adults. 

( I am still sore in my back and neck )

We never got close enough to see the Dolphins ( damn you spaghetti arms ) but we did see sea lions up close. That was cool. We stopped at penguin Island for lunch and snorkeling. Saw some penguins of course. The boys went in to snorkel but not me. The water is too cold here. I nearly die every time when standing in it to show support.

 On the way back it was choppy water. But it was easier to paddle as we had the wind to help us. Razmus freaked out in the middle of the ocean and I did too. But i couldn't show that. Why did we freak out you ask....well a) waves pushed the kayak too much for comfort b) sharks live in these waters..huge ones c) put a and b together and there you have it. Freaking out!!

We obviously made it safe to shore. 

In all it was an awesome day and I really appreciate that we went. 

I have to mention the 10 year anniversary of the Asian tsunami that killed my friends parents and injured my friend and her brother severely. They were in my thoughts this day. And so were the other people who got affected that I've gotten to know while living in Phuket. 

Horrible day. Let's never forget it. 

This year is coming to an end and I am happy it is. This year has been rough on me. And also real good.
I've lost people I love but I've also gained people.  I miss people that I still want in my life but are absent.
Ding-ding-ding.....What I tend to do when it comes to you I see only the good, selective memory.
So freakishly true that is. Funny how the mind works.

I've learned a lot and I've made mistakes. I'm just a girl....

Give yourself time to be sad, frustrated, and angry. Give yourself time to heal, accept, and to grow. Time doesn’t erase anything, but it can provide you with enough space to be able to breathe again. And then one day you wake up and your heart has a little bit of sunshine in it. And day by day people offer you pieces of their hearts to help remake your own. Allow yourself to be where you are at, to feel what you are feeling, and to experience everything that means you are healing. And during this process, look and listen for that glimmer of hope. Because one of the most beautiful things about humans is their capacity to heal, grow, and survive. Wounds might heal but scars they remain the same.

Happy New Year to all of you. May your new year be filled with positive thinking and people who truly love you. 

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Time

At last....a day That's hot enough to hit the beach for a well deserved RnR. The wind was calm too so the ocean looked amazing. It was +39 and my skin was frying. The boys couldn't wait to swim.

I went down with them and when the water touched my feet I had to control myself not to scream. It felt like -1. It was sooo cold it hurt. Hello Australia what is wrong with ya water?? People where gladly splashing around and it really was picture perfect. The boys hesitated for a bit but they don't love the heat like I do so the ran around, playing for a while in the water. I stood with the water to my calfs and enjoyed watching them play. 

We only stayed for an hour or so.
The Ozone layer is very thin above Australia so we have to be careful. Last time I burned my buttcheeks. 

Both boys have now shaved of all of their hair. In my opinion they look bad ass. But they say they look like cancer victims or concentration camp victims. That's pretty bad hey. 

A bit of sun and they won't have that white scalp anymore.

Christmas is around the corner. And yet again I'm spending it outside of Sweden. 

I had my first Christmas in yeeeaars in Sweden last year. The boys and I visited a friend and her children in Stockholm.

It's fun to go back and read on the blogg what I was doing a year or two ago. Crazy Christmas, but I spent it with the people that mean the most to me.

I have had one Christmas alone. Without the boys I mean. It was 2012. And I was guttered.
Luckily I have amazing friends that did whatever they could to cheer me up.
And I worked. All Christmas I worked. 

I never want to experience that again. Horrible.

Time is so important. Unfortunately most people do not understand that importance. And when they finally do ( cuz eventually they will ) it will be too late.
We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. 

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Kind hearts are good for loving your broken parts and accepting you for what you are. Beautiful souls are good for teaching you about life and happiness. Gentle spirits are good for bringing peace and harmony into your life. Artistic minds are good for appreciating differences and depth. Honest consciences are good for trust and reliability. Playful characters are good for laughter and fun. Don’t you see? When you’re 80 and you’re looking at the last 50 years of your life, what kind of person do you want to have spent it with?

Mid week rant

The other day we took a drive up the northen coast of WA. It's a bush country that's for sure. Miles and miles of straight road. Each side with dried up grass fields, sometimes with green spots and scattered trees/bushes with the Orange flowers on. ( pretty trees in a baron land )

I don't even remember the names of the towns we stopped in. But I can tell you that some of them where far better than the shithole I call home at the moment. 

More soul and life than Kinross. Pathetic really, since this is supposed to be Perth. 

We drove for the longest time. I love going on road trips. Just the fact that you don't know where you'll end up is awesome. Exploring new territory. 

The mission of the trip was to scout for sharks. WA is famous for their great whites. Especially up north. So the thrill of "hunting for sharks" was immense with the boys. 

Did we get to the water?! Barely.... 

We got close once. Overlooking boats that were crayfishing and a ton of seaweed. No sharks unfortunately. 

I've been feeling like shit lately. I can't explain why as it's a difficult situation that effects people differently. Don't get me wrong I'm over the moon that my boys are here. I've missed them greatly. 

I have a lot of time on my hands and it makes me think about stuff that might not be healthy for me. Or maybe it's just thoughts that I have buried deep inside of me, and this shithole let's them resurface. 

We are often let down by the most trusted people and loved by the most unexpected ones. Some make us cry for things that we haven’t done or we don't deserve, while others ignore our faults and just want to see our smile. Some leave us when we need them the most, while some stay with us even when ask them to leave. The world is a mix of people. We just need to know which hand to shake and which hand to hold! And that my friends is not easy. 

Betrayal and pain aren't things I want to have experienced. But I have. 

Maybe I like the pain. Maybe I'm wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe I just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself? Because it feels so good when I stop.........

There are things that happened in the past and no matter how hard you shake your head you can’t undo them and the memory remains. Horrible memories sometimes. There are regrets; things you knew you could do but didn’t, and things you wish you didn’t do but did. Maybe because you were left with no other choice. Regret is a stubborn stain, annoying like nails on a chalkboard, infiltrating your memory like a dripping tap. And no one but you feel it or cares about it. 

Sorry about the venting....I'll post pictures asap. The cost line was beautiful and we did have a fun day. I just wish the came more frequently. 

See ya....

My boys are here.....

What a mission! But the boys are finally here. After a cancelled flight and trips to Denmark and an overnight hotel stay they have reached the land down under. 

I want to say thank you to Max and his girlfriend for stepping up when no one else did. I really appreciate it. You are the most selfless guy I've met. 

And also a huge thank you and a kiss to Mr.Sadjak for helping me all the way from Bangkok, Thailand. Without you Joakim this wouldn't be possible. Much love!!

Last but not least a thank you to the boys' dad for coming to their aid and sorting the new flights out. Gold!!

It was a tad frustrating getting phone calls in the middle of the night with news of flight problems. I could literally do nothing about it. So I'm very thankful it got sorted by their dad. Thank you! 

We when to the airport and I was excited sitting on the floor waiting and waiting. Finally I saw one shorter blonde white boy and a brownish tall scrawny one coming through. The joy I felt. It was like my heart needed that jumpstart. I literally flew up from the ground and gave them tons of hugs and kisses. Much to Luqas embarrassment I could imagine. But I don't care. I will call him baby till the day I die. 

On our way home we talked a bit. The trip had gone well. No dramas. 

I'm very comfortable to let the boys fly by themselves. They are very good at it. 

The boys loved the house. And more importantly the PS3 and Wii. Sigh!!! 

We went so Hillary's beach in Sorrento the other day. It was quite windy. So we went to a mall instead to eat yogurt icecream. 

Yesterday I fell really ill so I was in bed rest most of the day. So Trav was nice enough to help me out and entertained my terrorists. Cheers Trav. I appreciate it. 

Since it was Lucia yesterday they decorated the tree. Now it's ready for Santa :) it's was a quiet night as I wasn't able to do much. But today I feel heaps better. Both mentally and physically. Thank lawd for prescription drugs :) 

What if my dreams and Demons are the same? 

Freo

Took a well needed break or refuge if you will to Fremantle. About an hour from where I live. To be honest I had a big fight with Trav and I don't take undeserved shit...from anyone. So I left.
City life come at me!!

My friend Samantha came and got me late yesterday evening. 

And today I've spent most day roaming the streets of Freo. And chilling at Sams work. "Sundancer hostel". It's big with dormitory from 1 bedroom to 10 beds $80-$29/night. But it's central situated and plenty of pubs to keep you busy. Pool and BBQ area in the back. 

So if you ever find yourself backpacking in WA and wanna hang around perth this is a good spot. Great actually. You meet so many different people from all over. Great networking.

I happen to eat a shitty chicken kebab just a few hours ago and I don't feel well now. It's like my tummy wants to jump out of my body. I pray I won't get mud butt. I need a lay down but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'm doomed to pay for my stupidity. My moment of weakness. I was starving and it was convenient at the time. 

What bugs me is that just a few minutes after I got the damn thing I found great restaurants. Heaps of them. And I'm still kicking myself for it. Sacramento Idiota!!

After Sammy stopped work we went to the corner pub to meet up with her friend Ash. An Irish chick. There are heaps of Poms and Irish people in Australia for some reason. I guess the English people love Aussies...

9504 hours and it still feels like a kick in the face, actually a kick in the face doesn't quite cut it.... They say we can repress our memories. I wonder if we are just keeping them safe somewhere because no matter how painful they are, they are our most powerful and precious possessions. They made us who we are. Good or bad. Some things I remember as if was yesterday and it all feels like one long inescapable moment. 
Have you ever felt like you are Falling into the ocean but still swim for shore....

Best guy ever...GLITTER LOVE!!!!

The weekend...

Whoohoo...Saturday I left the prison.
And the weather was nice too. Destination Yanchep national park. I was finally going to see some Roo's and koala 's.
Score!!!

I wore the wrong set of clothes for this escapade. Noted for next time. It was lovely to see the animals up close.

Cute as

A young Roo chillin in the shadow

Yup....that is me!!

Wilderness...come at me

We also stopped at a lagoon. Apparently there are heaps of great whites swimming around this area. You will not see me swimming there anytime soon. It was stunning but nope not ever. It would of been awesome to have seen a shark tho. It was quite windy so the water was choppy. Still people surfed and swam. What idiots...

We went to a restaurant called "The blue duck" to have lunch. The seating was great, overlooking the ocean and I was sitting in the sun too. Even though it was windy it was nice. Got the menu and I quickly established that I ate very few things they offered. That is not the restaurants fault tho. I decided to try the Malaysian chicken with rice. What could possibly go wrong with that?? 

I'll tell you what went wrong. First of all they served undercooked rice!! WHAT?!?! 

And then they serve chicken tenderloins. The most disgusting part of the chicken. Seriously blue duck?!! You wanna be a high end restaurant with prices like that and you serve me THAT?! 

Nah...you will be referred to here on forth as "the blue fuck" cuz you deserve no better name. Oh yeah, we got no discounts or apology or anything. They just took back the food we barely touched and said they'd tell the chef. 

So yeah blue fuck in Cottesloe, Perth, WA shame upon you for all eternity!!

Lagoon protected by a large reef. Keeps the sharks out..hopefully

Shark watch

An Idiot

View from the blue fuck

 Sunday we drove down south to gracetown and Margret's river. I love going for drives. I got to see the countryside. Hours and hours of straight road. Saw cows and horses and sheep. I wish Swedish animals had this much space to roam around in. Made me happy to see. I might even try some beef here because of it. Free ranged beef. We'll see. Passed a few wineries too. Next time we'll leave earlier and stop by and get some bottles. It's supposed to be cheaper to get it from the producers first hand. 

It was first Advent Sunday too. So it was nice to make it a special day even if they don't celebrate it here. I looked on Facebook later that night and saw the pictures people posted. That made me miss the coziness of a Swedish Christmas advent. It's really special. 

Anyway, it took a while to get to Gracetown. Tiny town by the water. There has been shark attacks there in the past. And I assure you I would not ever go into that water. I've been told so many horror stories im freaking out thinking about swimming. I'll dip my bum that's about it. I'm sure it's not as bad as it sounds. Urban legends. But I'd rather be safe than sorry. 

On our way to Gracetown and Margret's river

Middle town name...WTF???

Gracetown-sleepiest town so far

Gracetown...home of the great white sharks

Margret's river

Yes...I did go in the river

It was very cold, but the beauty made up for it

They have the most strange names here. It's Aboriginal names they have kept. Which is great. It's their country that the pommies invaded and put convicts on a long time ago. ( how weird is it that Aussies beat the English in every sport the compete in??)
But I've been taught that if it ends with "up" it means it's water close by. As where I live. Joondalup, it's a lake here. A big ass lake. Apparently it's snake infested so you can't swim there but that's ok. 

I tried to read the names aloud as we passed the road signs. I couldn't do it. So hard. A fun game maybe if you find yourself backpacking through Australia at one point in your life. Go for it!!!

Thank you Convict!! I had a great weekend. 
I really apreciate it.