I love you....

I just got a phone call from my BFF. 

He knows me better than any of my friends or bf's ever have. 

He calls to check up on me. Especially today. He knows when to be there for me. He remembers. 517 days. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend. I love you to bits!!! 

Have you heard the saying "misery loves company"? Well it's true. Nothing surprizes me anymore. Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them. It was one thing to make a mistake; it's another thing to keep making it. You knew what would happen when you let yourself get close to someone, when you started to believe they loved you: you'd be disappointed. Depend on someone, and you might as well admit you're going to be crushed, because when you really need them, they wont be there. Either that, or you'd confide in them and you add to your problems as it will get used against you. Over and over. All you ever really have is yourself. 

A person that's happy and secure in their own body and mind would never have the urge or need to attack, ridicule or belittle someone else. Fact!! 

I'm wont get more into it because frankly I'm over most of it. 

Tonight I'm cooking Thai red curry chicken and snuggle up with my boys on the couch. That's love right there.

No judging or demanding or name calling. No nastiness or pettiness. 

Just love and happiness.......

Crazy friends...just like me. 

That's why I love them so much. 

Cross Gender

There’s been an ongoing debate in my life lately about whether or not men and women can actually be friends. It's been protested that it’s simply not possible. "It’s SO obvious that you both secretly want to f*ck each other,” "Or flying under the friends banner"...what is that...really?

To all you haters out there, I say, get a fucken life. Not only is this type of guy/girl relationship possible, it’s necessary. I'm straight forward and I appreciate that back. Honestly I don't even see gender. I judge people on how they treat me. If we get along and have things in common. 

That’s something no one can really afford to be without. Friends! Regardless of gender. I'm sure friendship develops sometimes. It happened to me not too long ago, with an English guy that I fell head over heels for, and he told me he did too. I was however single then so I had nothing to hold the blossoming feelings back. If in a relationship that's healthy and you love each other there should be no reason for developing feelings for someone else. You don't even look at another person. I know I don't. I'm very loyal and I don't cheat. I do have many male friends. Especially after been living in Phuket. We get very close and it's hard for people that aren't in that environment to understand. Or they are narrow minded. I don't know.....It's toxic for me to be accused and misunderstood in this matter. It poisons me...slowly killing the relationship I have in whatever way. I don't feel I have to defend what is a human right....having friends. 
I HAVE MALE FRIENDS GOD DAMMIT!!!!

I even have a cross gender BFF. I wouldn't trade him for anything. He's there for me when I need a cuddle, he's there to wipe tears if needed, he yells at me when I he thinks I'm stupid ( yes...that does happen once in a while ) and he helps me out with "guy" chores. Cuz I'm such a girl!! 

Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Others are toxic to our being, simply because their needs and way of existing in this world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Iv'e put others ahead of me for so long I kinda forgotten how it feels to love ME first. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful.

I'm a happy person and I hope I rub that off on my kids. That they get the ability to make friends and not care about what they have between their legs. It's all about personality and how you treat each other.

I hope non of you...dear readers...judge your partner or sibling or parent for the gender of their mates.

I'm going to watch a movie with my son now. I had to get stuff off my chest.

Class dismissed......