My friend Sussy has come for a visit. Just when I needed her. I met Sussy in 2011 when I moved to Phuket. We became friends instantly. We've been through a lot. Good and bad. Pulling bikes up from nearly landing in a lake when driving drunk to smashing windows at the house to fighting off an abusive boyfriend. And also baking cinnamon rolls with the kids to working at the restaurant. She's got my back and I got hers. 

She is important to me. So today, I'm happy she's here with me. Today is full circle. I know that you don't understand but it doesn't matter. I am doing this for me. 
Call it therapy. Call it trying to let go of what I cannot change. 

I've heard that it takes two years to grieve of a huge loss. In human time, that seems like an eternity. There are stages. And each stage brings a remembrance, especially once you start hitting the “year marks.”

A year ago I got an email, I didn't understand why I got this email with this song attached. That was not what I needed to hear at that time. As it was a bunch of bullshit anyways.

We spend our lives struggling to hold on to the things we value most. To the people and things we believe we could never exist without. But our memories are often an illusion protecting a far more destructive truth.
Love can bring out the best in us... the confidence to move on, the courage to tell the truth, the strength begin to trust again but sometimes what surprises me the most isn't what love brings out but who and what it brings back.

I'm very lucky to have such great friends in my life. Blessed really. I have an amazing boyfriend. I couldn't ask for any one better than him. I miss him heaps and I can't wait to see him in a couple of weeks. 

Now, this song means nothing to me.....I am not going to save you, ever. As you couldn't be fucked to save what was yours.

 
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
- Gandhi

 

Cramp in me fingers...

Ok, so I have sent hours on the laptop today, no kidding. Filling out applications for a residence permit. Let me tell you that the questions were some what loco. 

I was surprized they didn't wanted to know how many times a week you go poo. Hopefully I answred the questions good. If there is a good way to answer. I just told the truth. Fingers crossed y'all.

I'm sooo pumped to go. First stop is Phuket. Halloween is always fun in Phuket. And maybe I get to spend Melbourne cup day there too. Two years ago it got pretty crazy on that day. Last year I was back in Sweden in agony. Just pure agony. So I hope this year will be joyful and have people I love around me. 

I've done a post a few days ago about being in a long distance relationship and as that is about to change I have thought about a few things that are true being in one. Pt2 of the rambling....sorry. 

1. The knowledge that if you survive the distance, your relationship can survive anything.
Once upon a time, boy met girl, they fell in love, and lived happily ever after in the same house for the next hundred generations.
That was then. This is now.
Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart. They are full of meaningless arguments, jealousy, sleeping alone, and second-guessing whether it is "really worth it." 

( you know what I'm talking about convict ) 
2. You don't have to be presentable all the time -- you can have off days.
No one can judge you for having off days because the potential future spouse lives halfway across the world. It's like a "get out of jail free" card for social interactions. ( having a beard should be forbidden, if your name isn't Jax Teller cuz then u can rock anything ) 

3. Long distance relationships are a lesson in effective communication.
Early in my married life, I realized I could spend months living with someone without having a "real" conversation.
And I love to speak. And analyze and talk some more. Lack of communication can kill a relationship. If cheating and lying doesn't kill it first..... 

4. The relationship is more than physical.
You can't have a "friends with benefits" long distance relationship. Long distance relationships are more like "friends without benefits." However, as painful as celibacy may be (and believe me, it can get hard -- no pun intended) you survive because you want to be with the other person across the oceans. And that makes it bare-able. And you masturbate heaps. Not too much tho. If it gets too often it's a compulsive disorder in my book. By definition, long distance relationships are anything but physical.  
They throw around words like "soulmate," "other half," "meant to be together" and "love of my life" like nobody's business. Is that really true?? 
Yes, being in a long distance relationship is difficult, but when it is with the right person, it isn't half bad. Just as long it doesn't take too long to see each other. 

Weekend

I'll spare you from my usual rambling today. I'm quite hung over to be honest and my mind is consumed with thoughts of pizza and coke. What's up with that anyway? Why are we craving nasty food when hung over?? Why not carrot sticks and beet-root juice? 

So today I've been glued to either my couch or my bed. Watched best ink and got so inspired to get another tattoo. It's highly addictive. Rightfully so, it's very beautiful and hot. Makes you more beautiful..in my opinion. 

I better keep my word and not ramble. So I'm leaving you with some photos from the past weekends. 

Devil woman...the instigator of evil things :) 

My new project. Absolutely gorgeous