A leaner or a lifter??

Today is a public holiday in Sweden. The boys and I spent the night at the BFF's. I needed some company. Sometimes chatting on the phone just isn't enough. 

As always we had good talks and fun. I'm very lucky to have them in my life. 

Today we drove to my dad's memorial park. I felt I needed some inner guidance and whenever I go there I feel so much better. It was sunny and warm. 

Malin came with me and all the boys too. 

We went for a walk after in the woods. I asked Malin for some advice and she didn't say anything I didn't already know. It's nice to know I'm not phycho nor unreasonable. It was very liberating actually. 

She came back to mine and had lunch. After we went to the playground and watched the boys play. It's such a great feeling in doing that. Makes me happy. 

We continued talking about life and relationships. 

Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved or hated from a distance. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you…the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life......

The bottom line is: If they love you, TRULY love you, they’ll do whatever it takes to be with you. There won’t be excuses or doubts or fears or hesitation. Love is ACTION. Everything else is just words.

When we experience unhappiness and discontent, our first reaction is almost entirely emotional. In other words, we blow things completely out of proportion. After all, we still have that darned “lizard brain” (amygdala) – the epicenter of negative emotions. Instead, just take a step back, look at the problem objectively (with minimal emotion), and focus on a solution!

Childish

Due to recent events I have read a lot, on world of phychology to try to have a deeper understanding.
I take pride in being able to put myself in the position of others. Seeing it from their point of view. Whether it's my children, friends or partner. Not saying I am perfect in anyway, it's just that my life experiances has taught me so much and also how to respond to myself and to others. I'm pretty easy going like that.

So this got me thinking about behavior and how you deal with advercities ( which will come your way sooner or later )
Do you wonder sometimes why people act unreasonable and childish sometimes, often many times during a single day? Childish reactions are the cause of most conflicts and relationship issues. This known as age regression. Many people don’t recognize it when they do it, and instead believe that they were provoked by other people or circumstances.
Our brains constantly scan our environments and compare our present experiences with our memories from the past. When something triggers our past memories, our brains check those memories for additional information, such as possible consequences and possible responses. If there are unresolved or intense emotions related to those memories, they also will be triggered.

You won’t be aware of those memories and the internal process of searching memories, but you will be aware of emotions that come out. Such emotions might make you react as if you were reacting to the past situation, not the present. You lose awareness of your adult understanding and adult resources, and resort to behaviors you learned as a child.
Some people, for example, are not certain whether to trust themselves or other people’s persuasion. Some other people might need to find out if their anger and resentment is realistic, or comes from their past. Learning to do will prevent many unnecessary conflicts.
Immature emotions can influence every part of your life and most of your decisions: from your plans for what to do or not do today, to your choice of intimate partner. Once you learn to recognize them, your whole life will change.

• Childish emotions are either overly intense or suppressed.
• Childish emotions sap your energy and, if prolonged, result in stress and fatigue.
• Childish emotions convince you that you are primarily right, and the other person primarily wrong.
• Childish emotions make you feel uncomfortable and doubt yourself, which may motivate you to criticize and find even more faults in other people.

Sometimes, details in other people’s behavior trigger strong emotions. We can become easily convinced that such strong emotions are justified, even if our common sense tells us otherwise.
This often happens in intimate relationships, since they arouse our deepest emotions. In those moments, it is difficult to stop thinking about the other person’s behavior and take responsibility for our emotions — but at those very moments, this is most important and brings most benefits.
Be aware that in many situations adult and childish emotions might be mixed, i.e., you might feel adult and childish anger, or adult and immature fear in the same time. It takes some practice to be able to distinguish between them and decide which emotions to follow. However, learning to do so brings great rewards.

I'm the first to admit that I have resolved to childish behaviour once or twice. I use to be very aggressive when I was younger. Mainly due to my upbringing. I somewhere around my late teens realized this and I decided then that I no longer wanted to be a slave under such negative behavior. So I changed. Sure, I can still get angry, I ain't no mother Theresa, but I can control myself better and as I said in the beginning I can put myself in the position of others and I realize I shouldn't be so quick on judging.
Once you have kids there is no room for your ego. You learn to concider others and let things slide. You pick your fights. You compromise and you love.


There is also a differece of  being childish and acting like a child.
I love to goof around and I don't take myself too seriously. Life is way too short to be uptight.

Money

When it rains, it fucking pours. 

Gonna leave my car at the car-repair shop today. And I'm dreading the bill. 

I'm also going to a meeting this morning. 

Luqas' teacher wanted to have a follow up meeting. Their dad can't come, he had other meetings booked in, as I found out last night. Cheers! I had to turn down work to attend this 30 min meeting. Work that could've paid my car. Great! 

This morning I noticed that Luqas needs new jeans. Not one pair, oh nooo, all of his jeans has gotten too small. Like over night. How is that possible? So new jeans it is. And hoodies. Teenaged boys grow. He doesn't eat but somehow he manages to get taller by the month. 

I just feel like disappearing. To a warm place where I need nothing but shorts and bikini. Wouldn't that be just fantastic. Massages, sun and no worries in the world. I think I need a holiday. Last holiday I had was in October. Two weeks at home. Glorious times. 

Walks on the beach, bike rides with the lukewarm air blowing in my face, chilling in the shade looking at the ocean. 

Best of all...going to work. Can't believe I'm saying that but it's the truth. Going up early wasn't an issue. As opposed to here where you feel half dead when the alarm goes off. Look half dead too. 

Not even your morning fart wakes you up. 

Anyway...I'm off to either rob a bank or sell my bum. Pondering on which one would pay off most. 

Wish you all a fantastic Monday